All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
