You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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