Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
