In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
bring money and cleavage
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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