Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
