ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
