fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
