I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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