Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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