Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
