idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
