i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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