Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
