I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
