South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
