Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
