That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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