I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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