im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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