do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
