she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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