I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
