"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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