the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this boner is exhausting
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
