Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
