Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
