I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
