Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
