I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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