I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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