I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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