He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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