You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
