i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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