Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
zippers are such a cool invention
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
