Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
