Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
