Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize