We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
