So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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