Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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