ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
