"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
