Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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