I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize