Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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