Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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