yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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