absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
