you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
