I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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