How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
