It's Friday. Sex?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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