they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
only if we run a train.
done.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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