Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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