spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
