It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
