Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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