Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
