i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
