So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
