He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
