when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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