Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
