he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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