I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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