I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
