We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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